Newsletter
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In this month's Personnel Personal Corner, we're focusing
on the data department. What sort of hobbies do you have?

None, really.

Do you write poetry, or produce artwork of any kind?

Nope.

Do you play or follow any sports?

Nope.

How about gardening?

Nope, I hire that done.

Cooking?

Nope, TV dinners suit me fine.

Reading?

Nope, don't have time to read.

What do you do in your spare time?

Well, really that's nobody's business but my own.

Sir, you may not realize that the purpose of the Personnel Personal
Corner is to build employee morale by giving the staff a chance to
get to know the personal side of their co-workers by giving them
insight into those things which make an individual unique.

Oh, well that sounds reasonable to me. Mostly I just
watch TV. Not much time to do much else.

Do you have any favorite TV shows?

Not really, they're all pretty much the same.

If you had all the spare time in the world, what would you
do?

Probably watch more TV.

How about traveling?

I can see everything I want to see on the travel channel
without my legs getting cramped on an airplane, listening
to other peoples' screaming kids, and without getting
mugged, jostled, and overcharged.

What about your family? Do you have any interesting parents,
children, siblings? What about your ethnic background?

I'm just a single white male. I talk to my relatives on
holidays. They were born and raised right here like me.
We never got much into geneology. Do you just
interview people within the company and that really is
your entire job?

Well, Glomcom is a worldwide company with over 80,000
employees. I travel all over the globe talking
to interesting people like yourself. It's really very
exciting!

And they pay you to do this?

Building employee morale is an important function of any
company. Over half of all turnover is due to low morale.
Haven't you ever read the company newsletter?

Didn't know there was one until you told me.

It's available in the mailroom. Don't you get your mail?

Oh that; I use it to wrap machine parts for shipping occassionally.
I thought this was an online company. Why is the company newsletter
on a piece of paper? What happened to this whole "e-business" idea
and saving trees?

Well, I've got to move on to the other people in the department so
I can catch my flight out.  It was certainly nice meeting you. Have
a nice day!

January edition of The Glomcom Glob, Personnel Personal Corner:

This month we are focusing on the database department in our
Skankwood, Ohio office. Glomcom purchased the office six months
ago in order to acquire the Gritnet infrastructure and, of course,
the worthy support personnel:

N'Bushe Nrobamambi is a database analyst from the west coast
of Africa. She has worked for Nairobi National Wildlife park
as an animal doctor. She holds a masters' degree in Latin
Language and Literature from the University of Tulane. In
her spare time, she runs the Sticks for Hicks hockey youth
program, enjoys hiking, fishing, and crocheting. She holds
the state-wide record for pistol shooting, 100 yds and
archery, 50 yds.

Phil Kimonosabi is a database programmer from Taiwan.  In his work
for IBM Research Laboratories, his team developed code for the
virtual reality overload sensor, that will automatically shut off
VR input if the user's brainwave activity becomes abnormal and
call paramedics to the scene. He raises purebred malamuts and
enjoys traveling to dog shows all over the globe. He also enjoys
dogsledding, auto repair, electronics blueprinting, and fondue.

Moon Rabbitwomyn is a data integrity specialist from Triangle,
New Mexico. She enjoys performing pagan ceremonies and worshipping
the life essence that guides us all. In her spare time, she is an
herbalist and minerologist and enjoys throwing pottery as well as
loom weaving. She enjoys traveling throughout the U.S. in her minivan
with her fellow coven members, camping and looking for rock samples
for meditation amulets. The proceeds for the amulets go to provide
art and music scholarships for local students.

Dave Jones is a data entry specialist from Skankwood, Ohio.
In his spare time, he enjoys watching television, eating, and
sleeping.