One of my (male) friends asked me to describe what PMS is like.
I felt that a poem could best express my thoughts and feelings.


PMS, A collection of bad haikus, by Sue Blair
-------------------------------
PMS, hunger
continuous emptiness
can never be filled

listlessness surrounds
like not eating soon enough
grumpy, cranky bitch

oily T-zone blues
zit on the tip of my nose
squirts onto mirror

stare into mirror
lon chaney in my bathroom
needs to pluck eyebrows

scraggly-ass rough beast
american tourister 
bags under dull eyes

dropped hairbrush again
proverbial blunt object
keep back, damn your eyes

mouth in a straight line
someone turn down fucking lights
eyes narrowing, squint

children and dogs flee
introspection good for soul
no other option

moody surliness
break out the paint and brushes
thrust in victim's eye

I am the hollow
dance around the prickly pear
eat pear with whipped cream

mother of grim things
nothing can stop the hunger
except time passing

hard to care at all
difficult to concentrate
useless, muddled brain

back dully throbbing
loins mutter their agony
head ripped asunder

switching through stations
music does not ease the pain
die, rude commercial

normally water
falls off the back of the duck
duck is shot in neck

waterweight gain sucks
must eat grass and oink in yard
why don't my shoes fit

cannot fasten jeans
pamabrom should help gross bloat
lie on bed to zip

first knuckle stops ring
nothing fits me anymore
I must shop again

dark chocolate helps
I want to kill everyone
alas, illegal

funyun big grab bag
salty sweet endless spiral
chips ahoy, matey

fruitless aspirin
just say no to drugs, ass crack
motrin spinning head

good roots deaden pain
ginseng, root beer, potatoes
next try tree bark, dirt

premenstrual past
ruthless cycle possesses
present now, then post

----------------------
by selina:

spiteful cruel anger
slow cramped tug on ovaries
got the shits again

everyone's so dumb
is shooting skinheads evil?
Peep(tm) season over