Patheticity
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I remember when you would hold me when I was sick
And it makes me feel so much more miserable now
I loathe feeling sorry for myself
A sorry-ass lame motherfucker
Like a pathetic wretch circus freak
See the woman with fifty cold sores on her tongue
The student doctor saying 'oh my god' when she looked inside
So much for the grim objectivity of medicine
I remember John Merrick saying 'I am not an animal'
The Elephant Man, the Rhino Woman
That is what I sound like when I talk
Renting videos and praying that nobody would engage me
in painful conversation, but of course they just had to
My mouth was killing me
When I spoke, the clerk was stunned
so I said "I am not retarded, I just have a speech impediment"
As I left, I could hear the other clerk say to his mate
"Good one, chatty cathy"
And him saying "God, I had no way of knowing"
In the fevered mash of my dreams, my personalities split apart
And argue with each other
Over who hosed the relationship
And how to arrange the basement
In my paranoia, each one has taken a watch and keeps it
Fearing for the sanity of Prospero, lord of the castle
Who is in fact me when the mighty triumverate of personalities
Is harmonious
Sargon the anal taking the day
The Great Cornholio taking the afternoon
And Nirali, the dark and mysterious, taking the night
I continue on with my mission of watching bad ninja flicks
with snake fist of a buddhist dragon grasping the spiked pentacle
of reason and peace
which is rotating in my mind
yet my mind itself is rotating
as the fever runs its course
As I sit like a total bunghole with a crystal on my forehead
And my mighty meditation healing CD cranking
Yeah, I really think it's working