Subject: film review Date: Mon, 05 Jan 1998 20:57:09 -0500 From: "B. S. Blair" bone-a-rama movie scale: lettuce-leaf flaccid (0 degree angle) limp (45 degree angle) erect (90 degree angle) solid woody (135 degree angle) raging boner (180 degree angle) Starship Troopers ----------------- genre: scifi/action/gore, based on scifi classic by Robert Heinlein rating: raging boner good points: ----------- Scifi, military, and gore: these are a few of my favorite things. The film features hot young studs and action (the chicks are not bad, either). Whiff the pheromones. Excellent special effects and decent acting. Good performance by Verhoven veteran Michael Ironside. An unknown (in the US) Dutch actor is chosen to play the lead instead of Tom Cruise. Verhoven's style is apparent in the "online news" cuts reminiscent of the Robocop television ad sequences. Also good pacing and high action content typical of Verhoven's scifi/action films. A good job of maintaining Heinlein's political rantings and military humor/zeal. This is a must-see film for scifi/action fans. questionable points: ------------------- Buenos Aires has been totally overrun by white folks (with Spanish names) including Doogie Houser, former MD. Unnecessary Beverly Hills 90269 teen-age love triangle sub-plot featuring Diz loves Johnny but Johnny loves Carmen but Carmen loves herself. zzzz. Carmen, and her incessant blindingly white smile, lives. One of the best features in the book does not make it to the big screen: Rico's father survives the Buenos Aires blast and joins the military, so father and son get to serve together. No cool techno-geekoid body armor as featured in the book. Video pick: ----------- Drunken Master, featuring Jackie Chan. genre: martial arts bone-a-rama rating: raging boner Chinese with dubbed English, some profanity, regurgitation, no nudity (bummer) Action-packed, neatly-choreographed kung-fu. The Drunken Master teaches Jackie Chan his drunken style, featuring several drunken katas. The strength of the style involves appearing to be vulnerable. Dog of the week --------------- Event Horizon genre: scifi/ horror bone-a-rama rating: lettuce-leaf flaccid Although featuring two of my favorite actors, this film sucks. The film has a has a bad feeling to it throughout and the ending is especially not worth seeing. As the cops say, move along folks, nothing to see here. Also, a complete rip-off Star Trek's (The Original Series) "The Naked Time". --- From: "Selina F. Priestley" Oh man! I loved that film!! But I agree with your points... I really liked the commercials, the fascist society in general, the f*cked up boot camp. The utter horror of it all was pretty effective. I was actually roped in (maybe I shouldn't admit this) and impressed by how the transition was made between these frivolous school kids, to freaked out cadets, to shell shocked or experienced soldiers watching the new kids come in, who did look *younger*. On the other hand, I'm not buying partying out in the desert with huge bugs who could rip you all to shreds in seconds, and I don't know how plastic boy stayed on that big ass glossy round back bug while it was flopping around. Why not give him some cool boots that punctured the bugs flesh or something? I was also bummed out by how the Diz chick (who, come on, is kicking buff guys asses in football? I mean, I like to see it and all, but..) was clearly the brains of the outfit in football and boot camp (she came up with the plans that Casper won with), and then fades to utter anonymity in the face of PB's ability to straddle a beetle. Somehow he gains brains in the venture, and Diz becomes the follower babe. I couldn't believe they made him a leader, he was a bonehead joke.. Anyway, naturally she has to buy it so Barbie and Ken can be sadder and wiser together in ST2. She was annoying anyway. :) Too bad about the pilot guy though. > Carmen, and her incessant blindingly white smile, lives. I enjoyed looking at her. Actually, she didn't bug me too much because she seemed pretty realistic. She was basically Ok, really. Just a kid feeling her power for the first time, and then needing to work her way out of it. I liked the fact that the fine babe was very smart and fearless. > No cool techno-geekoid body armor as featured in the book. This is not enough. Not only do they have dick for armor, but what about those weapons?! What are they doing with machine guns?! That's it?! What's with the utter lack of air cover, and did we lose the ability to design TANKS for crying out loud?, and why not nuke the whole planet? You can put a guy in a tank and do incredibly fine microsurgery on him, but you can't drive a nuclear into the core of a planet? I dunno, I suppose I could be convinced... > Event Horizon > genre: scifi/ horror > bone-a-rama rating: lettuce-leaf flaccid > > Although featuring two of my favorite actors, this film sucks. > The film has a has a bad feeling to it throughout and the ending > is especially not worth seeing. As the cops say, move along folks, > nothing to see here. Eww, did I have nightmares after this one, even while laughing at how predictable it was. The end was just awful wasn't it? :) But that scene with the crew of the old ship breaking down into utter insanity was pretty horrifying to me. What's more frightening than the utter breakdown of culture? A couple of the guys in this film were really fine though. This freak out feeling was like watching the movie 'Miracle Mile'. Check that out sometime. I thought it was a light romantic comedy when I rented it.. --- from: bsb > Too bad about the pilot guy though. Yah, why did he lose the will to live? Did he think that Carmen truly loved Johnny, or did that bug get his scrotum with its pinchers? Dunno.. Good point about Johnny staying atop the huge-ass bucking bug. That challenged my suspension of disbelief :). -Sue B.